Abusive Relationships

There are no excuses for physical abuse in any relationship. And, there are no apologies, excuses or justifications that can mend or undo the damage that has been done. Whether you are younger and in a new relationship, or older, in one that is of many years duration, physical abuse is unacceptable. It is time to pack your bags and leave or demand that your partner leave.

Don’t Listen, Just Go

If there are children in the relationship and they also have been physically abused, you need to have already left. There is no alternative. Don’t sit and discuss it with the abuser. Don’t waste time listening to the pathetic excuses. Don’t stop packing and listen to the pitiful guilt. Don’t let yourself be convinced by promises that it won’t ever happen again. Don’t be swayed by some logic or rationale. The abuser may seem completely sorry and swears that it won’t ever be repeated. But, past behavior is a good predictor of what is to come. One of you must leave.

The discussion might include the possibility of both of you seeing a therapist or professional counselor but only consider this after one of you has left. You will only live under the same roof once a professional has deemed it safe for you and the children, if there are any.

It is bad enough when any relationship includes mental or emotional abuse, and/or alcohol or substance abuse. But when your physical and psychic boundaries are violated, zero-tolerance has been crossed and drastic measures must be taken. Do not live another day with the fear of additional physical abuse.

You and Your Children Are at Risk

If economic difficulties are preventing you from leaving, have your partner pack and leave. However, there are government agencies and other resources available to protect you and your children. Never forget that your life and the lives of your children are at risk. Neither of you are capable of protecting yourselves. Do not remain in the abusive situation another night. 

Consult your local telephone directory or search the internet for available resources in your area. The National Domestic Violence Hotline is staffed 24 hours a day, and ready to help. Trained advisors are available to provide crisis assistance, information about shelters, legal help, health care centers and counseling in your area. Their Toll Free number is 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).

You Are Not to Blame

Nothing can justify physical abuse to you or your defenseless children. And, don’t believe for one minute that you are to blame, that something you might have done provoked the abuse. You may be feeling guilty that you are to blame but that doesn’t matter. Nothing justifies a physical attack on you or your children. If you need immediate assistance do not hesitate to dial 9-1-1.

This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.

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