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In years past, having an affair required a chance encounter, a little luck, perhaps a willing co-worker, juggling time schedules, making excuses. People had to attend ‘fake’ work conferences or out-of-town seminars, use fake names at hotels, and pay with cash in the hope they wouldn’t be recognized by family, friends or neighbors.
Cyber Affair
Today’s technology offers many ways of having a pretend or practice affair. A cyber-affair. An affair that is technically not “real” infidelity. You may have already had fantasies about stepping out on your partner, i.e., straying from your marriage in secret. You might even be struggling with the idea of having an online sexual relationship.
Is It a Real Thing?
You might be wondering if cyber-relationships aren’t real relationships at all. Then what’s the problem in having them? You might also be telling yourself that cyber-sex isn’t infidelity. So why not do it?
Technology has made the temptation much, much greater. Today, you could create a new split-personality with a new email address, a new fake user name, a new social media profile, turn on your webcam and begin to flirt – all within an hour or two. No one will know about your new fantasy life except you and your new cyber friend. You don’t even have to get dressed and go anywhere. Bad hair day? No problem. No one will really care. You can even just sit there in your bathrobe. You will have a handful of new chat friends in no time. All in secret and no one will know.
Compartmentalizing
You created a new identity that will safely protect your online fantasy affair from your real partner. You can easily and almost truthfully say “hey, that wasn’t me, that was somebody else!” You have compartmentalized your online self. You created a convenient way to remain guilt-free. Your flirty online self might act less prim, less shy, more romantic and more exhibitionistic. What you’ve created is a type of Dissociative Anonymous Personality.
It’s Not Really You
With cyber-affairs, the greater the distance between your real self and your cyber-lover, the easier it becomes to depersonalize. It really isn’t you therefore you aren’t really hurting your real partner.
Escalation
The danger with this is that once cyber-affairs no longer satisfy, they can turn into reality and escalate into real infidelity, either with your cyber-lover or with completely new partners through websites originally destigned specifically for casual real affairs.
Romance is like a drug, a little addicting and a little risky, You have now crossed the line. Your flirty innocent cyber-affair has become adultery.
Neglecting Those Who Matter
Whether your cyber-relationship ever becomes a real relationship, both types affect your partner, your family and your friends. Every moment you spend in an illicit relationship is time that could be spent with the real people in your life who actually matter to you. The more time you spend in cyber-affairs, the more neglect and harm you cause.
Before making the decision to create that new online personality, take a little time to work on fulfilling your real offline relationships.
This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.
Review our Knowledge Base or the links displayed on this page for similar and related topics.