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You may think you have an idea why your child is angry or upset, but chances are you are wrong. Children can feel angry for a wide variety of reasons. Much of their anger is due to their self-esteem getting bruised. For example, other children can be quite cruel and verbally abusive, like laughing at them for giving the wrong answer in class. Children can even give themselves harsh criticism such as saying things like “Oh great, now my teacher thinks I’m stupid.”
Physical vs Verbal Abuse
Children can take insults and mean talk quite personally. And the school bully doesn’t help matters. They have a particularly mean streak, and enjoy pushing, shoving, and hitting defenseless girls. A threatening tone and fear of being harmed can make anyone angry. Bullying doesn’t have to be physical abuse. Having ugly insults yelled at you by a big guy is verbal abuse. Social media bullies are no exception. It is even easier to be abusive online.
Family problems and serious illness can make a child not only angry but leave them feeling helpless and frightened. Hearing their parents fighting can cause doubt and fear that the family might break up. Hearing harsh words from one parent directed toward the other can easily cause a child to be angry and protective.
Shattered Beliefs
A child can feel very angry and depressed when they hear the sad news of a classmate dying of an illness or tragically by suicide. And children are not immune from news events on TV, or viewing controversial videos on the internet. When their beliefs about fairness and honesty are shattered because they find out their ideas of how things should work are wrong, i.e., that life should be fair when it’s not, well… this would make anyone angry.
Rejection or Entitlement: You Choose
When a child hears from their parent that she can’t have that expensive jacket, they feel frustrated and rejcted. Then angry, stomping around the house slamming doors, etc. Being angry is the child’s way of protesting their parents’s decision. Some children who feel entitled to receiving expensive gifts can take the denial hard and personal, staying angry for quite a while.
It’s normal to want things, and girls are particularly style-conscious. But they have to learn the difference between wanting and needing something. Spoiling children is basically letting the child know that “what she wants, she gets.” Spoiled children develop a strong sense of entitlement taught to them by their parents.
Do your children a big favor by telling them no once in a while. It will be a good lesson, because later in life they will have to know how to respond properly when things don’t go their way.
This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.
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