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Anger will never disappear so long as thoughts of resentment are cherished in the mind (The Buddha, 500 B.C.) Anger, the sages have said, is “short madness” (Horace, 65-8 BC) that “carries the mind away” (Virgil, 70-19 BC) and can be “many times more hurtful than the injury that caused it” (Thomas Fuller, 1654-1734). But they have also said: “Noble Anger” (William Shakespeare, 1554-1616), “makes any coward brave” (Cato, 234-149 BC) and “brings back strength” (Virgil).
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People become angry because of blameless occurrances such as loud noises, foul odors, high temperatures, traffic jams, stupid television commercials, pop-up internet ads, even aches and pains, Sometimes anger is caused by another person’s act or a loved one’s misdeed.
Anger may come and go throughout the day or many times per week. Sometimes the slightest thing will make someone angry. Anger can turn hostile and if left unchecked can fuel physical or verbally abusive acts we will later regret. It can also breed prejudice and intolerance toward others.
Releasing Anger
So is there something we can do when we become angry? Many surveys taken of high schoolers report that just walking away from the situation is the best antidote. Others report that doing an exercise session helps relieve the anger. Girls often will talk to a friend, or listen to music to get over it.
There are some schools of thought that encourage releasing angry feelings, as hostile outbursts can be better than internalizing them. When irritated, lash out at the offender and vent the anger. This approach might seem to help relieve the anger temporarily. More often than not, your rage will turn to feelings of guilt or anxiety for hurting the other person’s feelings. Even more often however, expressing anger breeds more anger and subsequent retaliation, escalating a minor situation into a major confrontation. Acting angry can make us feel angrier (Ebbesen, 1975). People hitting a punching bag thinking it will be cathartic, discover it isn’t, leading them to exhibit more cruelty (Bushman Et al., 1999).
So What Can We Do?
Then what is the best way to deal with your anger? The first solution is simply to wait. Any emotional arousal will simmer down if you just wait long enough (Tavris, 1982). The second way is to learn to deal with anger in a way that doesn’t leave you chronically angry over every little thing, nor passively sulking over the annoyance. Simply rehearse your reasons for your anger. Learn to express your grievance in ways that promote reconciliation rather than retaliation.
When All Else Fails
Go to the age-old method that always works. Without letting the offender off the hook, mentally rehearse how to forgive the offender. You will begin to notice the negative thoughts, blood pressure, heart rate and stress all subside. Rehearsing creates a calming environment. Remember – to err is human, to forgive – divine.
This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.
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