Self-disclosure is a vital ingredient of loving relationships. It is the unselfish revealing of intimate details about ourselves, our likes and disklikes, dreams, aspirations, worries, our proud and shameful moments, our inner secrets. As one person reveals a little, so will the other person. Self-disclosure breeds liking, and liking breeds self-dislosure (Collins & Miller, 1994). Each increase results in deeper intimacy.

When self-disclosure occurs at a reasonable pace, it can build intimacy, positive feelings and trust. Not to mention reciprocity. When it is too rapid or aggressive, we tend to back off and wonder about the other person’s motives.

Small-Talk vs. Intimate Details

In various studies, 2 groups would be paired. One group would begin self-disclosure at a slow pace and gradually share more personal, intimate details, while the other group of pairs talked about the weather, vacation plans – everyday small talk. Upon completion of the studies, the group sharing intimate details were almost physically attracted to each other! While the small-talk group each went their separate ways, proving that self-disclosure brings people closer.

On the internet, and especially on social websites, people often feel freer to express their true feelings. This can lead to an entirely new level of consequences.

This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.

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