Depression is Fed by Negatives

No one wants to be depressed, but is it possible that depressed people secretly invite disapproval and negative comments? 

Not consciously, we don’t believe. But human feelings act rather like water, in that they tend to seek their own level. Put another way, people tend to self-verify and seek out feelings, beliefs, sympathy and information that confirm whatever the person thinks or feels about themselves and tend to reject or ignore any beliefs, feelings or information that is not agreed with or runs against their feelings or beliefs.

Like Attracts Like

Likewise, positive upbeat people will readily accept beliefs and comments that are happy, positive and upbeat about themselves and reject or ignore and shrug off contrary comments.

Depression distorts every aspect of a person’s life and affects the person’s view of any and all feedback about themselves or views of their future. Thoughts about pleasing events become clouded with doubt and negative thoughts.

Even when depressed people seek positive support from partners or family members, they quickly find a reason to discount and reject the praise often causing the other person to feel rejected even hurt.

Positive Support Difficult

For this reason, it becomes difficult for friends, family or partners who are close to a depressed individual to continue to express positive support, only to have it turned into a negative. This becomes a cycle and eventually any positive support is simply withheld, showing less caring and willingness to be supportive.

Depressed people then believe that any previous support was insincere and false, causing them to become angry and defensive, withdrawing to themselves. This causes relationships to suffer in the process.

Cycles of Negativity

If you are the depressed person, or a close friend or family member, you are searching for a way to break these cycles of negativity.

Negative thoughts and feelings are almost always the result of, or a response to, distorted views or perceptions of events or situations, “I am a failure because I can’t do this assignment because I’m stupid.” “I really must be hopeless.” There probably is no evidence that the person is in any way stupid. The fact that the person thinks they’re stupid is just a distorted view.

No, You’re Not Stupid

Yet, with views of such conviction, of being stupid in this example, how could anyone ever improve from the grip of depression? Positive self-talk and rational thinking are tools that work well to blur the vicious cycle of depression and negativity. Instead of outright rejecting a problem, why not write down some ways the assignment “can” be accomplished? Try writing a few solutions to finishing the assignment –- the goal. Once reasons are found, the actual completing of the assignment will become much easier. Ask yourself if your negative thoughts are based on reality. The answer is probably not. Or, ask yourself “is this assignment really that difficult or am I just trying to avoid doing it?”

Make it a Game

You can even change your pattern of negativity by making it a game. Now, if you are depressed and reading this, by now you are probably thinking “this writer doesn’t know what they are talking about, and they can’t be serious about turning my depression into a game.”

Yes, you can change the meaning of your negative thoughts and feelings by adding some humor and playing with them. Ask yourself “even if I finish this assignment, who would want to read it anyway?”

You could actually have an argument about it with yourself as if you are two people. Or yell out your negative thoughts in a very loud voice standing in the bathroom with the door closed. Yell it over and over until the entire negative comment becomes meaningless.

More Fun with Negativity

Another fun idea is to write down as many negative thoughts as you can, then make them into a song. Use your favorite song or a Christmas carol, only substitute your negative words in place of the song lyrics and sing them out loud. Or, how about saying your negative thoughts with a foreign accent. Eventually your negativity will sound so hilarious you will be laughing yourself silly.

You Are Not Your Thoughts

The idea here is to establish a new relationship with your negative thoughts and feelings and to understand that you are NOT your thoughts. Stand back and see your thoughts for just what they are. Thoughts are just thoughts, possibilities or options. Just because you have a negative thought or feeling doesn’t mean you have to act or respond to it. Why not just shake your shoulders to shake it off?



This report is not a diagnosis. We hope this information can guide you toward improving your life.

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