Through mindfulness we can learn to intentionally use the power of our mind to help us channel and focus even the most intense and negative feelings into constructive and positive action. Awareness is the way. The fundamental philosophical principle that the Buddha taught more than 2,500 years ago is thatContinue Reading
Unlike anger, which we are born with, forgiveness must be learned. Forgiveness is a process that isn’t easy for everyone. We first learn forgiveness from observing our parents and how they showed it towards each other. Not So Easy Even though we learn to forgive, making the decision to forgiveContinue Reading
Self-blaming is simply finding fault with yourself. To hold yourself responsible for your actions when bad things happen to you. Ordinarily this would be an admirable quality. Knowing that you did something wrong is a useful lesson learned, so as not to repeat the same mistake. Guilt and self-blaming keepsContinue Reading
Siddhartha Guatama, the Buddha, taught in India over 2,500 years ago that suffering is caused by desire, and can be alleviated by releasing that desire. The same could be said of anger. When a person is angry, sulking, steaming or otherwise filled with negative emotions and ill will or aversionContinue Reading
Have you ever been told that anger has become a problem for you? Perhaps your significant other has mentioned it. Or someone at work or school brought up the subject. Have you been aware that the anger within you is often seen by others and has become a concern toContinue Reading
Perfectionists look for faults in everything, and nothing is ever quite good enough. Perfection is an illusion that is always just out of reach. High achieving individuals try to overcome their internalized shame and guilt, which stems from a belief they are somehow flawed, and strive to prove their worthContinue Reading
There are many types of defense mechanisms (Sigmund Freud referred to these as self-deceptions) that we use to help us deal with anxiety. They can be very rewarding in reducing stressful feelings. Once we learn how to use them and see how well they work, these defense mechanisms can beContinue Reading
What are considered normal healthy relationships are in fact often far from normal and healthy. Looking in from the outside we can see two people living together under the same roof completely codependent rather than independent. Looking deeper we can see most relationships are comprised of two emotionally dependent andContinue Reading
Codependent people carry on day after day pretending that nothing is wrong, leading an increasingly miserable life. Managing, rescuing and controlling a family member who is struggling with addiction, mental disorders like post-traumatic stress (PTSD), depression, or who have a serious physical illness is difficult, and can be ruining theContinue Reading
Our world is filled with millions of people who are not aware they are self-destructive. This is the root cause of a whole host of problems. Their lifestyles include failures in school, job or career, destroyed relationships and marriages, criminal behavior, substance abuse, and depression. All ending frequently with suicide.Continue Reading